Quite possibly the most terrifying question a teen can ask an abstinence educator is "How far is too far?".
According to abstinence advocate Chad Etzel, "this question assumes that acts of arousal are only more intense forms of affection, that sexual touching is only a more intense form of holding hands. In reality, we express physical romance in two distinct ways: affection and arousal."
Perhaps the wrong question is being asked. Rather than question what type of physical romance is appropriate in dating, consider what is appropriate in the context of marriage. Therefore, acts that bring about sexual arousal (passionate kissing, sexual touching, etc.) should only be reserved for marriage to spare long-term negative emotional effects.
To be fair, a person who asks, "How far is too far?" may be asking how to best express his love in a physical, selfish way. However, the question should not be, how far can I push my significant other towards a vague boundary but, how can I best push both myself and my significant other to be a better person.
John Wooden, a ten-time national champion basketball coach at UCLA, once said, "Goals achieved with little effort are seldom worthwhile or long-lasting." While Wooden was talking about sports, love is not much different. An athlete must remain disciplined to become a champion. Likewise, a couple that is dating needs to say no to using one another for selfish pleasure if they desire authentic love. The greatness of love is found through effort and sacrifice.