Cotter writes, "Mutual physical and/or emotional use is often seen as part of the dating equation these days. Guys might give girls the affection and attention they long for if girls will give guys the sexual gratification they desire and vice versa. They hang out and call it fun because both parties are getting something out of it that they desire. Yet, when they really think about it, they don't actually want to be treated as a thing for another person's gratification." People longing for love ultimately know that what they are settling for is not really love but allowing themselves to be used.
How can people tell if they are loving or using? Cotter states, "If taking away good feelings or sexual gratification removes love, then love was never truly there to begin with." Yes, physical attraction is part of love, yet it is nowhere near its entirety. There is so much more one can live for and receive if he refuses to settle for allowing themselves to be used.